I went out last night with my friend for wings. We chit chat and caught up on what we have done over the summer. There was a moment of quietness and I told her I signed up for Ironman next year and I am afriad.
What am I afraid of? The fact that I might not finish the race? The agony of getting up at 5 am and hit the pool? The stress of dealing with life and training while the sky is falling down? The pain that I have to deal with?
Compare to all my races, Ironman is whole new animal. Those races, I am confident that I can finish them while holding something back. In Ironman, there is no holding back. You can't. The distance is too great. You have to dig deep. That's a given.
How can you hold back after 10+ hours of aerobic activities? With my base right now, I am confident I can handle 8 hours. 10 hours is just stretching it. Anything beyond is unknown. Next year, I will be entering the unknown.
Of all my worries and doubt, they lead to one question. Can I dig deep? Do I have the discipline to hold back on the swim, bike and first half of the run? Do I have to the will to keep at it when every part of my body aches and want to quit?
There is only one way to find out.
On a positive note, I was at the pool two days ago and notice my stroke count went down. Now I am doing 19 strokes per 25 m. I think I can get it down to 18 if I swim faster from the beginning.
Here is a pic of me and Darren right before the 1/2 Peterborough Ironman this summer. Now that's a confident thumb up and a nervous smile.