Saturday, November 05, 2005

I. One Less Tooth

Went to the dentist to yank out a tooth. Trust me, it was better out than in. Ever since my bike accident in Sept, this tooth has been aching. It ached so bad that I could not bite properly. It is one of the back tooth on the left side. I have to eat everything on the right side. The dentist told me the tooth has splitted into three bits.

On the way home, I felt weak and insecure. In the next few months, I will have to go fix my teeth. This means, I won't be hitting the chlorine pool as often as I want. In fact, I may have to cut off some training for rest days. I was planning to take a swim class in December. With such uncertainty, I am going to hold that off. I am sure the cost to fix my teeth will be higher than expected. I need a tri bike, need a wetsuit, need swimming classes. Argh......

It seems my plan for next year is falling apart even it begins. How can such a little thing as fixing my teeth can effect so much?

II. Calmness in Calamity

What's interesting is how calm I am despite what happen. I am feeling more positive despite what's going on in my life. At work, I have to implement a database which it wasn't decided properly. At Chruch, I am leading a Fellowship which its spirit seemed to be suck dry in the summertime. At training, I am unsure what's my true potential is. At home, things are going up and down. Oh yeah and then there is this teeth situation.

Despite all that, there are times when I feel true calmness. In a sea of raging waves, I find peace and harmony. I have never felt this before. And it just happened ever since I had my bike accident. It would happen randomly. I would go down to the basement and suddenly I will feel it. It is as if Jesus came down and put his hand on my shoulder, comforting me.

With all these problems, I have never feel such satisfaction in my life. I have a good job with someone I can mentor upon. I can pay my bills. I can run, and bike and swim. I can train. I have good friends (a few on here :) ). If I am going to heaven tomorrow, let's go. My life should have ended back in '91 when I was diagnosed with cancer. Everyday I wake up is extra. Bonus.

8 comments:

William said...

Just hold on Cliff. I'm sure you'll get lots of training in and your church group will come around.

Just live one day at a time and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow.

So are you now toothless-er?

Stephania said...

Why can't you go swimming? Does it have something to do w/ the chlorine?

Cliff said...

I had to go to the dentist to remove another tooth b/c this one cracked when I had my accident.

To Steph: Yup. I just don't know how the gums (with open wound) will react to the chlorine. Better take the safe side and not hit the pool.

At least I can go to do more running :)

Nytro said...

I feel your pain, just had three root canals. Ouch! It is hard to be motivated to work out when you have a toothache. This sucks! It's nice to knoe someone else known what I'm going through.

anners said...

Run run run! I'll run with you...if you aren't too intimidated by my lightning fast speed...mmmwahahaha

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