Wednesday, September 14, 2005

To Go Pro Or Not To Go?

I have been thinking about this. Should I go Pro? Ha, just the idea of it is crazy enough. My last tri I did it in 2 hr. To say I have talent, I can't admit it. I think the best gift that God has given me is the blind determination. To keep going.

I was thinking of doing endurance sports as a recreation. But the past 2-3 weeks, I start to wonder what if this is my living. To train everyday. That would be great.

The biggest question is, what if this is what God wants me to do? Just thinking about triathlon, every part of my body urge me to go. It is as if the Holy Spirit is with me. This feels very real especially on the triathlon day when i was pounding away the pavement.

Maybe I am just having cold feet. But I know of everything I have experienced, this is what God created me. Ha, before I use to joke around. When my friends asked me why am I training so hard, I would give out a sarcastic reply "b/c God told me so". Now it comes true.

I was reading the book for my man small group last night. The author described the movie Chariots of Fire (Note to self, watch that). The main character is caught between running and going off to China to do mission. He told his sister that God has made him to run fast. At that spot, I felt so connected. God has told me to go do an Ironman.

I still have doubts. There is a whole load of it. I ask myself this, "if to get to where I need to go, I have to sarcrifice everything I have. If I am willing, what am I waiting for?"

For now, I am just going to focus on one thing. My training. I am already looking forward to this winter after my marathon.

Lastly, I was doubting myself b/c I am too old. 25 seem to be too old. Then after my friend Shirley told me about how most IM professionals are in their 30s, I am more confidence.

Where will this lead? I have no idea. I do know that I have to do what I do. So now, train hard and train smart.

One more note: Shirley from BC send me the IM Video from Penticton. So amazing :).....

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